Đề bài
Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country, while some people think there are other factors.
What other factors should be considered?
Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than economic progress?
Bài mẫu IELTS Writing task 2 Band 8.0+
Economic progress is often viewed as the most significant measure of a country’s success. However, I believe that other factors, such as education and healthcare, also play a more critical role. This essay will argue that while economic growth is important, these two factors are more vital for long-term national prosperity.
One key factor beyond economic development is education. A nation’s future depends on the intellectual capital of its people. If a country invests in high-quality education, it is more likely to sustain economic stability and social progress. For instance, Scandinavian nations, despite moderate economic growth, consistently rank among the world’s most successful countries due to their high literacy rates and exceptional education systems. A well-educated workforce fosters innovation, strengthens governance, and enhances social well-being. Thus, prioritizing education ensures a country’s sustainable success.
Another crucial factor is public health. Were a country to neglect its healthcare system, economic progress alone would not guarantee a high quality of life. Nations such as Japan and Switzerland emphasize universal healthcare, leading to higher life expectancy and overall societal satisfaction. In contrast, some rapidly developing economies struggle with inadequate healthcare, proving that financial success alone is insufficient. Therefore, investing in healthcare is essential for a nation’s overall well-being.
In conclusion, while economic progress is important, education and healthcare are even more vital for a country’s long-term success. Had governments focused solely on financial growth, they might have overlooked crucial aspects of human development. A balanced approach that includes social factors is essential for measuring true national prosperity.
-253 words by teacher Tony G, former IELTS examiner-
Note: Boldface = high-level
Từ vựng (C1/C2)
- Intellectual capital (Vốn tri thức)– The collective knowledge and skills of a nation’s people.
- Example: Countries with strong intellectual capital tend to have innovative economies.
- High literacy rates (Tỷ lệ biết chữ cao)– A significant percentage of people who can read and write.
- Example: Nations with high literacy rates often experience stable economic growth.
- Universal healthcare (Chăm sóc sức khỏe toàn dân) – A system in which all citizens have access to medical services.
- Example: Scandinavian countries benefit from universal healthcare, leading to longer life expectancy.
- Sustainable success (Thành công bền vững)– Long-term stability and achievement.
- Example: Economic growth alone does not ensure sustainable success without proper social policies.
- Overall societal satisfaction (Mức độ hài lòng xã hội tổng thể)– The general well-being and happiness of a nation’s citizens.
- Example: Countries with robust welfare programs often report higher levels of overall societal satisfaction.
Band Descriptors Breakdown
Task Response (TR) – Band 8+
Fully addresses all parts of the task:
- The essay directly responds to both questions, discussing alternative success measures (education and healthcare) and explicitly stating that these are more important than economic progress.
- The argument is consistently developed, avoiding a one-sided discussion that focuses only on economic growth.
Presents a clear position throughout:
- The thesis in the introduction makes a clear stance: education and healthcare take precedence over economic progress.
- Each body paragraph expands on one key factor, reinforcing the overall argument.
Ideas are fully extended and well-supported:
- The essay provides relevant examples (e.g., Scandinavian nations, Japan, and Switzerland) to illustrate how these factors contribute to national success.
- Explanations logically connect to the main argument (e.g., education fosters innovation, healthcare ensures a high quality of life).
Critical evaluation and nuance:
- The essay acknowledges economic progress but critiques its limitations, ensuring a balanced discussion rather than an extreme perspective.
- The conclusion reinforces the main argument while adding a hypothetical counterfactual (Had governments focused solely on financial growth, they might have overlooked crucial aspects of human development.).
Why This Is Band 8+:
- The essay demonstrates clear critical thinking and an ability to develop a well-reasoned position.
It provides specific evidence, rather than general or unsupported claims.
Lexical Resource (LR) – Band 8+
Wide range of vocabulary:
- The essay uses a mix of topic-specific, formal, and high-level vocabulary, ensuring precision.
- Examples: intellectual capital, universal healthcare, sustainable success, overall societal satisfaction, high literacy rates.
Strong collocations and idiomatic usage:
- The vocabulary is naturally used, demonstrating strong collocations:
- Fosters innovation (correct collocation with “innovation”)
- Strengthens governance (common academic phrase)
- Ensures a country’s sustainable success (complex but natural expression)
Avoids repetition and uses synonyms effectively:
- “Success” is expressed in various ways: national prosperity, overall well-being, sustainable development.
- “Economic progress” is paraphrased as financial growth, economic stability, economic development.
Accurate word choice and nuance:
- The phrase “economic progress alone would not guarantee a high quality of life” precisely expresses the limitation of financial growth without using simple words like “bad” or “not enough.”
Why This Is Band 8+:
- Vocabulary is varied, precise, and naturally integrated, with no unnatural phrasing or memorized phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) – Band 8+
Wide variety of grammatical structures:
- The essay effectively uses complex and diverse structures, including:
- Conditional sentences: If a country invests in high-quality education, it is more likely to sustain economic stability and social progress.
- Inverted conditionals: Were a country to neglect its healthcare system, economic progress alone would not guarantee a high quality of life.
- Gerunds as subjects: Prioritizing education ensures a country’s sustainable success.
- Third conditional with inversion: Had governments focused solely on financial growth, they might have overlooked crucial aspects of human development.
Complex sentences are used correctly and naturally:
- No grammatical errors, and all subordinate clauses are well-placed to enhance clarity.
Passive voice is used appropriately:
- Economic progress alone would not guarantee a high quality of life → passive structure emphasizes the lack of agency in economic growth alone.
Punctuation is used accurately:
- Proper use of commas, colons, and semicolons for sentence clarity.
Why This Is Band 8+:
The essay includes a wide range of grammar while maintaining full accuracy and fluency.
Cohesion and Coherence (CC) – Band 8+
Logical organization of ideas:
- The introduction presents a clear thesis, outlining the two factors that will be discussed.
- Each body paragraph focuses on one key point (education in Paragraph 2, healthcare in Paragraph 3).
- The conclusion restates the main argument without unnecessary repetition.
Effective paragraph structure:
- Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence, develops an argument, includes supporting evidence, and ends with a concluding sentence.
- Example:
- One key factor beyond economic development is education. (Clear topic sentence)
- A nation’s future depends on the intellectual capital of its people. (Develops idea)
- Scandinavian nations, despite moderate economic growth, consistently rank among the world’s most successful countries due to their high literacy rates and exceptional education systems. (Supportive example)
- Thus, prioritizing education ensures a country’s sustainable success. (Final evaluation)
Strong use of linking devices:
- The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices (rather than repeating “because” or “for example” too often):
- Contrast → however, in contrast, despite
- Cause-effect → thus, therefore, ensures, leads to
- Examples → for instance, such as, in contrast
No overuse of cohesive devices:
- Linking words are natural and appropriate, avoiding redundancy.
Why This Is Band 8+:
The logical progression of ideas makes the essay easy to follow, with well-connected paragraphs and smooth transitions.
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