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Cùng KTDC tham khảo bài mẫu IELTS Writing task 1 Map Band 8.0 viết bởi Cựu giám khảo IELTS cho topic Comparison of park layout changes over time. Bài viết hướng dẫn chi tiết cách làm bài, phân tích cấu trúc ngữ pháp và từ vựng theo tiêu chí chấm thi IELTS, sau đó so sánh cụ thể với bài mẫu band 6.
The two maps below show the changes of a small park from 1980 to the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
– Read the Prompt & Title (30 seconds): Identify the type of data (e.g., map, line graph), the topic (e.g., park changes, oil production), the time period, and the units of measurement.
– Identify the Main Features (2 minutes):
– Select Key Supporting Details (1.5 minutes): Choose 2-3 specific points for each main feature you identified. For a map, this means noting specific locations of changes. For a graph, it means noting the exact data points for peaks or troughs. Do not try to describe everything; select the most important information.
Paragraph 1 (Introduction & Overview):
Paragraph 2 & 3 (Body Paragraphs):
Introduction & Overview (3 minutes):
Write your first paragraph by combining the paraphrased sentence and the overview points into a cohesive summary.
Body Paragraph 1 (4 minutes):
Describe the first group of key features using the specific details you selected. Use linking words to connect your ideas.
Body Paragraph 2 (4 minutes):
Describe the second group of key features. Make comparisons where relevant (e.g., “Conversely, the western portion…”).
Final Word Check (1 minute):
Ensure you have used all the necessary vocabulary from the prompt if applicable (like in this map task).
The provided maps depict the evolution of a small park from 1980 to the present day. Overall, the park has undergone a considerable transformation, shifting its primary function from a space with natural features to one catering more towards purpose-built recreational activities.
In the eastern and southern sectors, the most substantial redevelopment has occurred. The two large flower beds that once dominated the southern area have been entirely removed, with a cluster of bushes planted in place of the flower bed that was in the southwestern part of the park. To the east, a number of trees were felled to accommodate the introduction of new amenities, namely two picnic tables and a barbecue. Correspondingly, a new gate has been integrated into the eastern wall, providing direct access to this new leisure zone.
Conversely, the western portion of the park has remained remarkably untouched. The original features, including the pond with its three surrounding benches, the cluster of trees in the northwest corner, and the main northern entrance, have all been preserved in their original locations without any alteration.
(182 words- by teacher Tony G, former IELTS examiner)
Present Perfect Tense (has undergone, has occurred, has remained, have all been preserved): Used to describe changes that started in the past (1980) and are still true in the present (now). This tense is perfect for “before and after” maps.
Passive Voice (have been removed, were felled, has been integrated, have all been preserved): Emphasizes the change itself rather than who performed the action. This creates a formal, objective tone.
Relative Clause (that once dominated the southern area): Adds descriptive detail to a noun (“flower beds”) within the same sentence, creating more complex and fluent sentences.
Participial Phrase (with a cluster of bushes planted in the place of the flowerbed): A sophisticated structure that adds extra information about the result of an action, making the writing more concise and dynamic than using a simple conjunction like “and.”
Depict (C1 – Verb): To show or represent by a drawing, painting, or other art form.
Evolution (C1 – Noun): The gradual development of something.
Considerable transformation (C1 – Collocation): A large and significant change.
Accommodate (C1 – Verb): To provide enough space for something.
Amenities (C1 – Noun): Desirable or useful features or facilities of a place.
Conversely / Correspondingly (C1 – Adverbs): Conversely is used to introduce a statement that contrasts with the previous one. Correspondingly introduces a statement that is a direct result of the previous one.
Alteration (C1 – Noun): The action or process of changing something.
The response fully addresses the task. It provides a clear, well-developed overview that synthesizes the main change (from natural to recreational). All key changes and unchanged features are accurately reported and well-supported.
The report is logically structured. The overview clearly establishes the main theme. Body paragraphs are expertly divided to handle areas of change versus the area of stability. Advanced linkers (“Correspondingly,” “Conversely”) are used effectively to show logical relationships between ideas.
The vocabulary is sophisticated, precise, and skillfully used. High-level words like “depict,” “evolution,” “eradicated,” and “amenities” are used naturally. There is an impressive range of vocabulary to describe change (“transformation,” “redevelopment,” “alteration”).
A wide range of complex grammatical structures is used with full control and flexibility. The effective use of the present perfect tense, various forms of the passive voice, and complex sentence structures (relative and participial clauses) demonstrates a high level of grammatical proficiency. The report is error-free.
The two maps show the changes in a small park from 1980 to now. Overall, the park has some big changes, especially on the east and south sides, but the west side of the park is mostly the same. A new gate was also added.
In 1980, there were two areas for flowers in the south part of the park. Now, these are gone and there are some bushes. On the east side, there were many trees before. Now there are fewer trees because a barbecue and two picnic tables were put there. Also, a new gate was added to the east wall.
On the other side of the park, the west side, there are not many changes. The pond is still there, and the three benches around the pond have not moved. The old gate in the north is also still there. So, this area of the park did not change.
(154 words- by teacher Tony G, former IELTS examiner)
Task Achievement (TA): 6.0
The response addresses the requirements of the task. It presents an overview and reports on the key changes and unchanged features. However, some of the supporting details could be more fully or clearly extended.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression. However, cohesive devices are sometimes basic or repetitive (“Also,” “On the other side”). The connection of ideas within paragraphs is adequate but lacks the smoothness of a higher-band response.
Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task. It uses words from the legend correctly (“flowers,” “bushes,” “trees”). There is an attempt to use synonyms (“big changes”), but the range is limited. There may be some minor errors in word choice (“put there” instead of “installed”).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and compound sentences (“…and there are some bushes”). There are attempts at complex sentences, but these are less frequent and may contain minor errors. Overall, the control of grammar is good, but the range is not wide.
| Criterion | Band 8.0+ Analysis | Band 6.0 Analysis |
|---|---|---|
| Task Achievement (TA) | Synthesizes a clear central theme. The overview expertly identifies the park’s shift in purpose (“from a space with natural features to one catering more towards… activities”). | States simple facts. The overview lists the main changes without synthesizing them into a central idea (“has some big changes… west side… is mostly the same”). |
| Coherence & Cohesion (CC) | Sophisticated and logical flow. Uses advanced linking adverbs like “Conversely” to signal a clear contrast between paragraphs, creating a seamless and logical structure. | Simple and repetitive linking. Relies on basic conjunctions and phrases like “Also,” and “On the other side,” which are functional but less sophisticated. |
| Lexical Resource (LR) | Precise and high-level vocabulary. Uses powerful verbs like “eradicated” instead of “are gone,” and sophisticated nouns like “amenities” and “transformation.” | Adequate but basic vocabulary. Uses simple, common words like “gone,” “big changes,” and phrases like “put there.” The meaning is clear but lacks precision. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA) | Wide range of complex structures. Effectively uses advanced structures like the passive voice (“trees were felled”) and participial phrases (“with a cluster of bushes planted…”). | Limited range of structures. Primarily uses simple and compound sentences (“these are gone and there are some bushes”). Complex sentences are rare and less controlled. |
Hy vọng qua phân tích chi tiết giải bài mẫu IELTS Writing Task 1 Map trên sẽ giúp chúng ta thấy rõ sự khác biệt giữa band 6.0 và 8.0+ không chỉ nằm ở từ vựng mà còn ở cách tổ chức ý tưởng, sử dụng cấu trúc ngữ pháp phức tạp và giọng văn học thuật. Nếu bạn muốn được hướng dẫn chi tiết và chấm chữa 1:1 bởi cựu giám khảo IELTS, hãy tham gia các khóa học tại KTDC IELTS. Với phương pháp KTDC Total Immersion độc quyền, bạn có thể rút ngắn 40% thời gian học và nhanh chóng đạt target band.
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